http://blog.butterfly.co.ke/wordpress/sextalkkenya/

The first time is like a crystal that will always float somewhere in your consciousness.

“I’d really love someone to tie me up and beat me up,” she blurted out one day. Actually, it wasn’t one day; it was about three different occasions before I started seriously thinking about doing it to her. A lot of people fantasize about being tied up and made-love to like this but not everyone cares to admit this or even knows it until it happens. So why did I take so long before I decided to fulfill her desire? See, I’d never done it to a woman before and I wasn’t sure I’d do it right, ie. The perfect balance of pain and pleasure, so yes, I was a bit nervous. Luckily, I’ve had it done to me before and I just tried to remember aspects I liked and those I didn’t like about the experience. That evening, we’d gone for some Ethiopian and had had a few glasses of alcohol. I can’t really tell you what gave me the guts to do it but as soon as we got home, I tied her up to the bed and grabbed this really nice wide belt I own but have never worn (with pretty hot metal and diamond piece on one side) and started to softly land the belt all over her body eventually increasing the pace and impact. At first, she was just moaning, then the moaning turned to tiny screams and I began to worry our neighbours would hear us but..I went on anyway.. At this point, you get so turned on by all the screaming, twisting, turning, submission, and all the sounds (like belt upon skin). You just want to stop and give it or get it from her. And both of you are drifting to another level….and within no time she wants you to stop and give it or get it. Depending on your level of control, you can choose to stop the pain/pleasure and fulfill all that desire and excitement you have built up. So lets just say this, even if you’ve never done it before-give it a try if he asks for it or even gives the slightest suggestion that he/she likes it. Nothing compares to the then and after effect of BDSM. The first time is like a crystal that will always float somewhere in your consciousness.

You asked for it; to know about my first sexual experience; can i even point it out? Anyway, here goes, thats what Sextalk Kenya is all about.

I was 9 years old when my cousin went down on me and asked me to do the same to her. We were in shags, a family get together.

I was 13 years old when some dude tried to rape me, i will carrry the scars for the rest of my life but apparently he did not break my hemen (thanks to the fighting).

I was 17 when i thought i was in love and gave it up to some extremely sexy guy from church. He accussed me of lying that i’d never done it because there was no blood. We still did it a couple more times..now that i think about it, i feel cheated, were we even having sex?

i was 18 when this guy from college managed to get into my pants, inspite of my protests. I was shocked to see the blood and the pain was horrific, i thought there was something really wrong.I told him to stay away from me.  A few days later, he unleashes a piece of cloth with dried blood on it on the way to lunch (from his pocket) telling me he would keep it as a treasure, that it was reason enough for us to be together. what the f? of course i did not want anything to do with him. I moved to another college the next sem.

Osho, a tantric sage from India once said, “Sex, never repress it! Never be against it, go deep into it with great clarity, with great love. Go like an explorer…Sex is just the beginning, not the end. But if you miss the beginning, you will miss the end also.”

Was at a house party with Audrey(who i hadn’t seen in a while).

We’d both gone our separate ways each  on a self-discovery mission to establish whether we were really bisexual or it was just one of those passing fads.

Here were were again together after all this time.

On the way to the party she’d kept asking whether we could rekindle the flame we once had. I had no answer. I did not know whether i would still feel the same way about her and for her after such a long time. 

All around us, the ladies and men were drinking, dancing, talking, smoking and laughing. Audrey on the other hand was flirting with me-using her eyes and her lips(those ohh so full lips that have the power to do wonders down there) with a gap between the teeth made it even harder for me not to get distracted! I pitied the man who was trying to ‘dart’ her-couldn’t he tell she wasn’t even paying attention?!!

She was all the way across the room and yet i had a feeling everyone was noticing it. I kinda liked it but then i felt like she was overdoing it-especially when she started to lick that cigar. 

I was in shock-it seemed like she had developed an even more bolder personality since we parted. I wondered what else had changed.

I decided i had to walk over to her and tell her that she had made the point clear but that she ought to stop. Tell her we could talk about it later…

As i started to talk, she interupted me, “Come this way, i want to show you something,” she quiped, leading me to the furthest washrooms of the house, blurbbing  about something she’d discovered.

On the floor, right next to the bath tub were magazines-all of them revealing intricate details of sex. She pulls out one and excitedly yells, ‘This one’.

Its Passie. I guess the brains behind the magazine did not want to call it Pussies yet all it showed was pussies of all sizes and shapes, yet not a single black one.

Audrey asked me to sit down so we could go through it together. She pointed out to a picture of one where two women were making out and said that she liked that and i pointed out to another one of two women and said that i liked that.

We sat there in silence going through the Passie magazine like two kids who were watching cartoons for the first time .

Then she asked me again, “Can we rekindle what we once had.” Before i could answer her, her lips had covered mine and my being seemed like it was melting right into the bath tub…..

You go out with someone, the conversation is interesting, the dancing is amazing and all inhibitions seem like they just flew right outta the window(thanks to alcohol)

But then there’s the kiss right outside the gate-the kiss that arouses those hungers within, the kiss that talks louder than the words-’I want you’

You both want each other so bad and yes you are ready but then something is stopping you from saying yes….

“Do not light fires that you cannot cool off” guys say. 

I wonder, is it that bad?

You are bound to agonize over a couple of ‘What ifs’ … the next day. But then you also see the other side of the coin….it was beautiful just leaving it as it was coz the desire is still there and whether or not something eventually happens in future-that desire is still right there at the back of you mind or at the very base of your sexuality.

This translates into a sexual energy that when eventually released (and only by the object of your desire) will it be sizzling hot!!!!!!

A few days ago, on a normal coffee shop discussion, someone asked me a question; 

Do lesbians in Kenya practise safe sex?

What about those school going young girls who have just been introduced to the practise?

Other than choosing a partner carefully and maybe taking a test before starting a serious relationship; how else can lesbians practise safe sex?

“Dress up that dildo with a durex condom before you share it?” Are students allowed to go with condoms to school; if so, what reasons do they give. And are these the same schools where we are hearing sex toys are being smuggled and a dildo being shared amongst 5 young girls?

With the practise of oral sex in most lesbian relationships, how can protected sex even be an option for lesbians? In other states, most of ‘em chose not to use barries/protectors;- apparently because the whole experience loses its essence. Another reason being that the only protectors/barries that are available like self-made ’sex panties’, latex golves and saran wraps are really uncomfortable. 

Do they even understand the risks involved in the practise; especially in a community like ours where a lot happens behind the closet; even lesbian meetings/communities which can be used for education are also very secretive. You won’t even know they exist until you actually attend one!

 The worst thing is that most people, hide their true sexuality (even get married)  and unleash their true nature only when they get the chance. How is this bad?-when are the times one feels extremely daring? 

Mostly when they are ‘high’..which is probably when they go out dancing n drinkin. And maybe even eventually end up having a one night stand with the lass who takes her fancy

Almost a year ago, VCT centres said they had counselling sessions for gay people; have they implemented this and are lesbians visiting these places without feeling stigmatized?

 Is information and education on how lesbians can protect themselves available? And is the information disseminated in the right way-without degradading them?

 How far have scientific efforts gone to develop items lesbians can use to protect themselves?

 REMEMBER; There are no condoms for lesbians…….

Do you know why Kenyans are considered the most astute business people
in East Africa? Read the story below,,,,,,,,,,,,DAMN!!!!

A couple both age 37, went to a sex therapist’s office.  
The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?”
The man said “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?”
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished having intercourse, the doctor said ”  
There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” and
charged them kSH 1400.
This happened several weeks in a row. The   couple would make an
appointment, have intercourse with no problems, pay the doctor then leave. Finally, the doctor asked, ” Just exactly, what are you trying to
find out?”
The man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She is married
and we cant go to her house. I am married and we cant go to my house.

1. Establish what it is that makes you feel sexy; is it jeans, is it just the idea of sex, perfume, just being yourself, a mini skirt, what?  
2. Exercise more, eat healthy
3. Relax, enjoy the moment
4. Be bold-take the initiative, even make the first move (ladies) at least once in a while….make him feel he is desired too…
5. Experiment; you never know which ‘right’ button you might push
6. Have a quickie at lunch time
7. Delay penetration; let the foreplay last-make him/her beg  (not only verbally  body expression is everything..)
8. Suprise her/him; do something you have never done before to him/her.
9. Try something kinky and wild (not necessarily group sex……)
10. Masturbate to establish THAT ’spot’ so you can eventually lead him there…..
11. Become a student; learn all you can, observe, maybe even ask questions….

And finally…….talk about sex!!!!!!!!!!!

 Anymore ideas out there?