Sexuality talk held last weekend

This sexuality workshop is the second public one radio presenter Valentine Njoroge is hosting, the first one having been at the Storymoja Hay Festival. This time however, there were a number of women and only one man all coming together to share, discuss and ask questions regarding sexuality.

Lawyer Njoki Ndungu also made an appearance and a number of contributions before she quietly disappeared.

Picking up from last times topic, ‘Do Kenyans kiss?’ Valentine did get people’s reaction to this. Most said Kenyans do kiss but not in public and that the reason for this is because even in local films, we do not see Kenyans kiss. Someone took us way back into times that even Hollywood did not show black people kissing. Just like lesbianism, it does seem like kissing in public is seen as a ‘white’ people’s thing.

Another topic was how infidelity has affected our sexual expression. It was concluded that owing to our polygamous history, Kenyans are not embarrassed about infidelity. True, for me, infidelity has actually resulted in me being more vocal about my sexuality.

A couple of people admitted to feeling more invisible as they grew older. One outburst came, “You become visible to the wrong people!”. And Njoki Ndungu admitted to actually feeling even sexier as she grew older and wouldn’t want to be 18 again.

Another one that generated great debate was ‘How does having a baby affect your sex life?’ A tale was told about a man who saw her wife giving birth and couldn’t even have sex with her after that. Others said the sex does get better.

‘What is the name of your vagina?’

The man in the house said that he calls his girlfriend’s vagina ‘Samosa’. Most said he would rather have not revealed that detail, others thought it wasn’t such a cool name. I think its ok! Better than most things I have heard anyway. Giving your vagina a name was encouraged.

The issue of sexual health did come up too…like…’Have you ever asked your partner whether she/he has ever had any STI?’

Here’s another very common one on sexual partners; ‘How many people have you slept with?’ I get this question all the time and I asked whether one is supposed to answer. Apparently, the most guys want to hear you say is three. I’m not going to say that! Infact, I’d rather not say!

I did feel left out many a times (being a bisexual) but I totally learnt a lot and enjoyed myself. I will definitely attend the next one. Guys are invited but they better be very bold.